From Anger to Sadness

OK, I'm over the initial reaction and outburst of anger. The more I hear about this whole affair, the sadder I become. I think the erratic behavior, the emails, etc., show a basically good man that ignored warning signs and somehow ended up in a place he never intended or even wanted to go.

Every married man faces temptation. I've been married for over 23 years now, and I can say from the first week of his marriage, a man must learn to think differently. What once you looked at as possibilities you must now look at as impossibilities, and because of our sin nature, sometimes the "forbiddenness" of things makes them all the more attractive. Then there is the perpetual temptation of "easy skin," i.e., pornography, made wildly easier today via the internet. This, from what I've read, is more a means of dealing with pain in one's life than an issue of sexuality. Then there are the serious temptations, more emotional in nature than sexual, which appeal by claiming to give feelings of "newness," "importance," etc. I think most men feel them - I have - but I've also learned that many, many lies in life can sound very true. Don't forget the Garden of Eden!

So, as a man who has not always lived up to his own ideals, who has fallen short - who regularly falls short! - of his own standards, I have felt what Mark Sanford must be feeling right now.

In some ways, I'll bet it is a relief. I wonder if he felt euphoric yesterday after the news conference. For a man who takes his moral commitments seriously, it must be extremely stressful to know inside that you are gradually becoming two people, someone with a public reputation and someone with a personal reality that doesn't match. And to feel you can't stop the process...How sad! To finally bring the two persons back together must have been a great relief, even if the direction was to pull the public reputation person down to the personal reality, at least the two are now again one. Of course, we would all like to make our public reputation and our personal reality match - God help us all!

Clearly, he was suffering from deep stress. The long, drawn-out battle with the legislature, for what he felt was right, and his eventual defeat, the stress of going in a direction in his personal life he did not want to go, all that led to erratic behavior, almost desperation...then to get caught, come clean, and begin the process of moving on. This happens all over the country every day, at all sorts of levels. Some are left behind and things are repaired with little difficulty; others become trainwrecks. The problem with Mr. Sanford is that, because of his office, status and influence, and because of his stated moral standards, and because of his family, the fall is long, and hard, and painful.

May God have mercy and help this man reassemble his personal life.